Depression is a hideous thing...a vortex that sucks a person's will. I don't claim to understand its depths, but I've tasted its bitterness. I've swallowed hard the ugly blackness of it. It has lapped against my legs...trying to wash over me.
This is why I do not resolve. I don't resolve to spend more time in the Word, or to be more consistent with my quiet time, or to watch less and read more, or to lose weight. To resolve means that I WILL do this thing. Me. I. I've learned I can do nothing. It is only my Jesus in me.
I have a lot of goals for myself. There are a number of things that need to change in our home...in my marriage...in my mothering...in myself. I am ever grateful for a patient and merciful God. A God who gently reveals. But, I know I cannot accomplish a single goal. I am incapable. But, Christ?!, who lives in me?! THROUGH Him, I can accomplish all things!
THROUGH Him, I can overcome. My Jesus can overcome that blackness that wants me to stay in bed all day. My Jesus can overcome that blackness that makes me want to scream at others. My Jesus can overcome the blackness that tells me it's okay to merely exist. He can, and get this dear friend, He already has overcome it!
But thank God! He gives us victory over sin and death through our Lord Jesus Christ. - 1 Corinthians 15:57
Because that blackness...is death! It may not be heart-stopping, 6 feet under kind of death, but make no mistake! It IS death!
So, this 2014, I do not resolve. I fall. I fall flat on my face in front of my Savior and King, and I beg Him to carry me through. To give me strength to stand. To give me the ability to make the personal changes that He wants me to make. To make the changes He desires for my family. Only He can accomplish that work in me...in my family. I fall for Jesus! And suddenly all the blackness turns to light, and E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G changes.
Happy 2014 to you all. I pray YOU!, yes YOU! consider falling for Jesus!
Just a few of the changes I've been convicted to focus on over the next year include:
scripture memory (myself and with the kids)
move toward a more healthy lifestyle for the whole family
be more aware of opportunities for acts of kindness to others
devour more Word
I also, am not resolving this year. Goal setting is what I am calling it. And I love, love, love your thoughts of falling to Him. xo
ReplyDeleteI have a lot of goals! I'm going to try to take a back seat though and only tackle what I'm led to tackle! Otherwise I'll get overwhelmed!!!
DeleteBeautiful! May it be the best of times for you and yours!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Cheri! Wishing the best for your family in this new year too!
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